Chapter 11: The Second
I had started to get worried, because of my lack of morning sickness. It had been so easy for me to get pregnant the first time, and I was worried that Goldenrod and I wouldn’t be successful. I was pacing back and forth in the bathroom, wondering how I ever got to a position where I wanted kids. Where I wanted that little plus to appear, but it wouldn’t. As I made my final stride over to the sink I willed it to appear, and I was almost too afraid to look.
When I gathered enough courage to open my eyes I glanced down quickly, hoping to stifle my disappointment. But as my eyes glided past I noticed something different. A plus. It seemed too good to be true.
I quickly grabbed the test and ran as fast as I could to find Goldenrod.
“It worked!” I screamed, as I saw him through the doorframe of Star’s room. “It worked, Goldenrod.” I practically attacked him.
He spun me in a couple of circles, before realized that had the possibility of making me throw up. He gently placed my feet back on the ground, and made sure I was stable before letting me go.
“That’s great, baby.” He smiled, “Did I make you sick?” Once we decided to have a baby he started to change back to the way he was when he thought Star was his. He wanted a kid, but he was just too afraid to admit it. From the first try he stopped staying late after work.
“No, I haven’t been sick at all, and I was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to... you know...” I didn’t even want to think about that.
“You here that, Star? You’re going to be a big sister.” I scooped her out of her crib and placed her on my hip. “Isn’t that exciting!” I got her to clap along with me, though I was sure she had no idea what I was on about.
I desperately hoped that she would get along better with her brother or sister than I had with my sisters. I was starting to think about how much of a pain it must have been for my parents, the three of us constantly arguing. I hoped that maybe they would get along, because after all not all siblings hated each other. Sunny and Goldenrod got along great... when they were younger.
While I was out of commission once more for plays I decided I needed a new hobby. I hadn’t had a lot of inspiration for painting lately, so I decided to take up photography. I managed to get a nice, fairly cheap, camera at an estate sale, and thus my journey into photography began.
I started with a lot of nature scenes. I found it easy to get good subjects in nature, the problem was trying to control them. If it was a windy day it was impossible to get a good picture of a flower, because they liked to dance around in the wind. They would always swing back and forth across the lens, messing up my plan for using the rule of thirds, and sometimes even going out of focus only for the split second that I needed to snap the picture.
Pretty soon I felt confident enough to take some photos of Star and Goldenrod. Goldenrod was a wonderful model, but Star wasn’t. She was a bit squirmy when it came time to pose, and sometimes I had to get Goldenrod to hold her just until the last second. Or, if he wasn’t available, I had to give her a teddy bear to hold on to. Either way she needed somebody to latch onto.
“That’s enough for today, don’t you think?” Goldenrod asked, picking up and unhappy Star. She calmed down when she was safely in his arms.
I sighed, “I guess.”
“Don’t be so disappointed. There’s always tomorrow, when Star and I will be refreshed and ready to model again.” He turned to Star, “Isn’t that right, Star?”
She nodded, with a big smile on her face.
Goldenrod and Star headed off to Star’s room, leaving me to put away the camera. As I was walking over to the counter to get the case I heard the front door open.
I was pretty sure that I knew who it was, and didn’t turn around before saying “Sunny.” I heard a groggy sound, that was somewhat similar to a word, and then he came over to me.
He had been pretty elusive since I announced my pregnancy with Goldenrod. It had seemed to cross some sort of line, pushing him back into a place where maybe he finally understood that Goldenrod and I were together.
“Can I help you?” I asked, trying to get out of his way.
“No, Amber, you can’t. It’s too late for that.” He was trying to be overdramatic, but I could tell he was using his stage voice.
“Too late for what?” I asked, not really wanting to know. I thought he was going to say something along the lines of ‘Too late to save me’.
“Too late to go back, Amber, anything we could have had is gone. It’s shredded, torn up into little, tiny pieces, and thrown away.” He stepped closer to me, and I tried to leave, but he blocked me, “We can never go back, Amber. I’m tired of waiting for you. In a second I could move on, and have a new girl, one who cares for me, and actually loves me.”
I lowered his arm from the blockade that it was making, “That’s actually a good thing, Sunny. That’s what you need. I’m with Goldenrod, I love Goldenrod. So, please, I’m begging you, go out there and get that girl who loves you.” This time when he tried to stop me I plowed right through his arm, and he didn’t follow me.
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It wasn’t long after that when Sunny moved out. Goldenrod and I were finally going to have a house for ourselves, well, ourselves and Star. We helped Sunny gather all of his things, pack them up in our old suitcases, and load them onto the bus. He was moving in with Seaweed, Peach Pearl, and Asher. He had started what seemed like a pretty healthy relationship with Seaweed, and I was happy for him.
Once we were alone Goldenrod started to have a fascination with our unborn child. He took every opportunity to feel the kicking, listen, or do whatever he could. Star sometimes gave him funny looks, because she didn’t understand the whole concept of ‘babies’ yet. I tried to explain it to her in the simplest way possible, but her limited vocabulary made it hard.
But I was working on that. Every day, when Goldenrod went to rehearsal, I sat down with Star and we worked on talking. She worked well, and very quickly, until it neared lunchtime. Then it was time to stop. She couldn’t focus if she was hungry, she would throw a bit of a fit until I brought her a bottle.
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The due date was quickly upon us, too quickly for my taste. And because Star had been premature, they requested I come in a while before the date, just to be sure everything was going to work out okay. I was a little frustrated by it, but I knew it was for the best, so I didn’t put up too much of a fight.
Star and Goldenrod came to visit me every day, and stayed for several hours at a time, but were unable to stay 24-7. That was okay with me, I didn’t feel like I needed them all the time, there was, after all, a hospital staff there to look after me.
When they weren’t there I still had people to talk to, including one young nurse who loved to spill all her troubles to me.
She told me that she had two sons, one who was just about Star’s age, and one who was a little bit older than my impending child. She had just gotten back on from maternity leave, but it was hard for her. She left her sons in the daycare all day, because their father was in the army, and was currently on a tour. I was always a good listening ear for her, and provided great moral support.
It just so happened that it was during one of her visits that the time came. She was able to call in a doctor right away and get the show on the road.
Egyptian Honey.