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Gurus Do Respond: Several Guru Answers In a Recent Thread - Updated  XML
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constance


Joined: 07/26/09 02:25 AM
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Anavastia wrote:
constance wrote:
Skyscraperfan wrote:"bluntness" is for people who just want an excuse to be rude. and "I don't care" is a very rude thing to say.


Hmm. Since you're a troll, it's hard to imagine that you actually mean this. Nevertheless, I have to agree with this comment. Ehh...somewhat.

I think that some of the time, people can't tell the difference between rudeness and bluntness. It's difficult to read tones over the internet. I've been accused of being rude and condescending when I really, genuinely was NOT. The person(s) seemed to proud to apologize to me, though it was their bad. But it's cool, they'll get over it one. Point is, being called out on or chewed out because of a misunderstanding can be pretty frustrating for both parties involved...much more when it seems like one of those parties don't do anything BUT call out people and chew them out. I'm not going to comment on any particular member here, but...to put it lightly? It kind of comes off as pretentious and...well, mean. Everyone here has the right to post and say what they want to say, but I think it speaks of one's character to constantly hide behind the "well, I'm just being blunt" thing. I'm not saying we're not allowed to have disagreements or that you should sugarcoat everything. I'm not even saying that bluntness isn't required sometimes (i.e. when someone keeps bumping a thread or is being a bully) But when someone kind of barges their way into an otherwise lively and civil thread and say things like "well that's never going to happen" or "go play Sims 2/Sims 1" and things like that, they're kind of asking for a problem. It's like walking into a bar with people who have guns or are violent or something. What if you walked in there shooting your mouth off, calling people all kinds of names and just being generally unpleasant? Sure, it's your right to do that. But if someone punches you in the face, would it really be a surprise? You can't mouth off in a thread, however good your intentions were, and not expect some kind of backlash. Because you're kind of being a hypocrite. You're expecting people to hold you by a different code than you hold them. For example "I can say what I want, however I want to say it. But if you retaliate in like manner, you're the one jumping on ME and being thin-skinned" etc. If you don't care about how you come off to people, why should they care about how they come off to you? In my mind, it's just a recipe for disaster.

Not to make it sound like I don't have a life (I DO. I PROMISE) but I've been on many forums. They all have their different flavors and vibes. I like it here. I've had good discussions with different people here who seem cool and groovy and chill. That being said, people just seem...needlessly tense here? I mean, I'm not excluding myself here. I've called some people out, but only when they've taken what I've said completely out of context or when I feel like they're being bullies to other members. For example, I personally DO NOT understand what is so difficult about staying out of a thread that is about something that you a) don't want or b) don't think will ever happen or don't agree with. Like people who don't want certain expansion or stuff packs. It's like...this is the ideas & feedback section. WHO CARES whether or not YOU think something will or will not make a come back? It's completely irrelevant because they're JUST IDEAS. So it just seems like a waste of time to even bring it up and jump on other members of wanting it. But people keep doing it, so whatever. Anyway, I digress. When someone goes into a thread with the mind to...I dunno, completely derail it by dismissing the OP's ideas...it just seems needlessly mean to me. It has nothing to do with being blunt or having thick skin. It's just mean and honestly? Like, the honest kind of honestly? It makes you kind of a d.ick. And I have no problem calling someone out because of it and I don't think it's wrong. I'm obviously not talking about all those freaking Seasons threads. That mess is cray cray.

Don't mistake this point of view with me being intimidated by you people or not being able to handle this forum, because like I said, I've been in way meaner ones. And I don't talk about it or wear it like a badge of honor or a crown, I just know how dumb and pathetic it can get and how much of an idiot people can make themselves out to be by hiding behind the "I'm just being honest/blunt" thing. And saying "i don't care" is just as pathetic. C'mon, no one believes that.

This is the internet. Being a bully doesn't make you cool.



I agree with this all constance but at the same time I'm getting fed up with it. I'm not buying the bull crap that people have ganged up on her either, because you go through this forum and she's basically bitten at every poster here. What does she expect after she's pretty much insulted almost every poster on this forum. It doesn't matter their age, background anything if she doesn't agree with you she will throw an insult at you. Bluntness does not mean that you go around belittling and name calling someone that's a simple fact. I'm not going to stand up for someone who goes around picking every fight and then wanting to play victim after the linch mob get's fed up with her mess. Really find Ii find those answers just cop outs, that's the way I am, I don't care, im speak the truth, no these are all excuses to justify doing something she knows is hurtful to others.

So she doesn't care if she hurts another person than that shows only one thing she lacks empathy for others, she is not understanding of others and stays closeminded, she cannot accept her own responsiblities, and has no remorse. Ii can go down the list Jarsie is everything that is a bully. Like i said because this is the internet she holds an anonymous factor that encourages it. Because this forum is undermoderated she can get away with it, because she knows no dev is going to waste time to ban her, no customer service agent is going to ban her. So she goes and terrorizes the community freely. In honesty even a temporary ban won't stop her she'll come right on back with that brutish mannerism and attack as many people she feels are an easy target.

Tell me when you read a list like this you don't think this fits her description to a T.
http://www.elmiracityschools.com/uploadeddocs/BMSwarningsigns.p
df


Well, I've had my disagreements with her and I certainly don't defend the way she's spoken with me and other people, but I don't think she's, like...the embodiment of evil, haha. I didn't want to make my point all about Jarsie. There's a reason why I don't name names because I don't think it's playing fair and I'm just not that gal. The person I'm talking about knows I'm talking about them, but my overall point was that it's an attitude issue here. And that includes me as well. But I don't go around terrorizing and, to be honest, I'm not terrified by anyone here, hahaha. So perhaps you're giving her too much credit on that score.

This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 04/12/12 05:32 AM


Your mom's a Seasons thread.
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Anavastia


Joined: 06/20/09 05:02 PM
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Nope i don't think she's evil, majority of people who are bullies can also be kind as you see she's very gentle with her grandson and her daughter. I don't doubt for one second that she is a loving person to her family and close friends, or whatever things she finds passionate and important in her life. I'm not a person that thinks anyone is evil. So i don't want you to think that, still her charactersitics when on this forum fits that description. Like i said i think the anonymous feature plays a lot into that because we don't know her in real life, she's pretty much free to behave however she wants on here.

I don't mind stating who im talking about because i do think that's fair she knows how I feel about her I know how she feels about me, neither one of use need to back bite each other. To me wether people know me or not, wether i'm anonymous or not, everyone has a right to speak on this forum without being name called and insulted. We disagree alot, and we agree a lot however like i said and many people say non of us find the way she treats people respectful. To me that application love your neighbor as yourself goes further than that, even if it's a stranger we should exercise love. I never had a problem ever with what Jarsie message was even if we disagreed, however she can talk to me and everyone else on this forum without the insults that is point blank. I have no problem standing up for myself and pointing that out to her.

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Wittylady


Joined: 01/01/10 02:31 PM
Messages: 577

I came back this morning (i live in UK) to see what others thought of the simguru's posting but sadly the topic has gone off point - yet again.

I must admit I have been "pulled in" a couple of times when I have been incenced at the aggressive nastyness (lets not make excuses or dress it up it is what it is )of some posters BUT it does not help.

I have discovered it just gives them the attention they crave, which they obviously do not get elsewhere. As these people cannot get in my home but only in my head if I let them the solution is simple. Simmers who want to enjoy the creative debate without the nastyness should simply ignore these posters I know its hard but its the most effective way along with reporting them.

Rudeness and bullying is never nice and I feel sorry for the posters who feel that is the only way to get their point across.
It actually has the opposite effect and just makes others mad so they ignore any gems of insight that may have been in the post.

If anyone feels this is aimed at them I would say WHY do you think that ? You must be aware of the upset and anger you cause and how sad that is if its gives you satisfaction causing it. So, you can harass me all you like but it doesn't give you a different name or change my mind

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 04/12/12 07:33 AM


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MrHawk


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Wittylady I love your signature and nice post.

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Wittylady


Joined: 01/01/10 02:31 PM
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Thank you Mr Hawk x

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Jarsie9


Joined: 05/17/09 12:34 AM
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I have been banned on this forum before.

And again, thanks for making me feel good about myself, Anavastia.

And yes, that was sarcasm, folks.

Isn't it ironic that even though someone claims to be loving and kind, they can still manage to slam someone that they disagree with in the process by taking the time to point out said person's flaws to others so that they'll be sure not to miss them?

And feel good about it?

And what's even more ironic is that *I'm* one of the staunchest advocates of stronger forum moderation. You'd think that I'd be against that, if I match *all* of the points printed on that "bully" list, wouldn't you?

Ah well, like I said folks...sometimes, I just gotta stand back and laugh.

ETA: Just went back and re-read that list that I allegedly fit to a "T". For those of you who have been graciously defending me on this forum, how does it feel to be my "henchmen"? (Read Anavastia's link, you'll see what I mean).

This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 04/12/12 09:58 AM


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Arletta


Joined: 06/09/09 07:54 AM
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Jarsie9 wrote:I have been banned on this forum before.

And again, thanks for making me feel good about myself, Anavastia.

And yes, that was sarcasm, folks.

Isn't it ironic that even though someone claims to be loving and kind, they can still manage to slam someone that they disagree with in the process by taking the time to point out said person's flaws to others so that they'll be sure not to miss them?

And feel good about it?

And what's even more ironic is that *I'm* one of the staunchest advocates of stronger forum moderation. You'd think that I'd be against that, if I match *all* of the points printed on that "bully" list, wouldn't you?

Ah well, like I said folks...sometimes, I just gotta stand back and laugh.

ETA: Just went back and re-read that list that I allegedly fit to a "T". For those of you who have been graciously defending me on this forum, how does it feel to be my "henchmen"? (Read Anavastia's link, you'll see what I mean).


Woo! I'm a "henchman! Wait, I demand fair treatment. I'm a henchwoman, darn it.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 04/12/12 11:44 AM


To err is human. To blame a computer is even more human.

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Susiechan


Joined: 07/08/09 09:05 AM
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Most of the time, I am the reader of this forum. I don't post much but I like to visit the forum and read what others are talking/discussing/arguing about.

And as the reader, I have my favourite writers in this forum They are Anavastia, Jarsie9, and Arletta. I used to skip a long post, but whenever they posted something, I usually spent my time to read their opinions. I don't always agree with them, but I always admire them for writing such posts that I wish I could.

And honestly, I never think any of them are bullying anyone but probably because I never been in their bad books

And yes, I like to read the "heated" argument between the three of them as well

For Anavastia, Jarsie9, Arletta, from me

Fenris,the broody Elf
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christine400


Joined: 12/19/09 05:32 PM
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Jarsie9 wrote:I have been banned on this forum before.

And again, thanks for making me feel good about myself, Anavastia.

And yes, that was sarcasm, folks.

Isn't it ironic that even though someone claims to be loving and kind, they can still manage to slam someone that they disagree with in the process by taking the time to point out said person's flaws to others so that they'll be sure not to miss them?

And feel good about it?

And what's even more ironic is that *I'm* one of the staunchest advocates of stronger forum moderation. You'd think that I'd be against that, if I match *all* of the points printed on that "bully" list, wouldn't you?

Ah well, like I said folks...sometimes, I just gotta stand back and laugh.

ETA: Just went back and re-read that list that I allegedly fit to a "T". For those of you who have been graciously defending me on this forum, how does it feel to be my "henchmen"? (Read Anavastia's link, you'll see what I mean).




LOL its so ridiculous that she has made/searched this list. i dont agree with you some of the time jarsie but that doesnt mean im gonna go of a make up a list about you.

i guess im one of the henchmen i cant help but defend someone when they seem to be the underdog in situations such as these. i know you can hold your own though jarsie. i disscussed your posting methods with you, you told me, i respect it and that the end of it. some people just cant move on if they dont like what their hearing or in this case reading. I know its just the internet but im still sorry all of this is happening to you.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 04/12/12 12:27 PM



Christine<3
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MrHawk


Joined: 06/04/09 10:31 AM
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Unless she's a technical writer for adolescent and childhood behavioural science I seriously doubt Anavastia wrote it.

I agree with her post and the comparison. It's pretty astute. Anybody who's had experience with these things knows the signs when they're there.

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christine400


Joined: 12/19/09 05:32 PM
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MrHawk wrote:Unless she's a technical writer for adolescent and childhood behavioural science I seriously doubt Anavastia wrote it.

I agree with her post and the comparison. It's pretty astute. Anybody who's had experience with these things knows the signs when they're there.



hmmm if you read the fine print i said made/searched so no where in my post did i flat out say she wrote

i'd apreciate it if you didnt throw words in my mouth mmk ?

good day sir


Christine<3
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MrHawk


Joined: 06/04/09 10:31 AM
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christine400 wrote:
MrHawk wrote:Unless she's a technical writer for adolescent and childhood behavioural science I seriously doubt Anavastia wrote it.

I agree with her post and the comparison. It's pretty astute. Anybody who's had experience with these things knows the signs when they're there.



hmmm if you read the fine print i said made/searched so no where in my post did i flat out say she wrote

i'd apreciate it if you didnt throw words in my mouth mmk ?

good day sir


I wasn't having a go at you, Christine400.
Perhaps I shouldn't have left the lol in but it definitely wasn't a go at you at all.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 04/12/12 01:12 PM


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Anavastia


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Whatever, never said anyone that defends you was a henchmen of yours as Faith is my good friend and pepperbutt and I don't view them like that so don't go putting crap in my mouth i never said. Besides do you even know what a henchman is, it's someone who follows you and does the same thing as you meaning they group up to bully others with you. I don't see anyone on here as your henchmen.

Like I said playing victim all the time when someone points out your type of behavior is unacceptable doesn't work with me. Especially when we see you can post without the unneccessary insults. So you don't like that i've pointed out your flaws, then that only means you know you behave that way. Don't put your labels on me, when people disagree with me i don't need to insult them to get my point across not like you. I have no problem talking and conversing with people who I don't agree with and you sure are not going to catch me calling them stupid or anything else for it because I don't like what they have to say.

I've seen you call posters from whiners, to idiotic, then cover your posts in ways that belittle them. Throwing insults like calling them childish. Here's the biggest one you dont' even read the threads half the time you skim them and go off the title and start bashing the op without even knowing what they've said. So you dont know what this person is saying yet you insult them. Or the fact that you find this laughable another sign that you're bullying is a form of entertaintment to you. Just like that excuse you said where people who are bullied deserve it because they alow themselves to be bullied. Right if that's isn't the lamest excuse for bad behavior.

Like I said bullies attack first before being attacked which is what you do exactly. Even when someone says for you to back off with the insults you show no remorse, nor do you show any respect and stop. So if that doesn't make you feel good about yourself then it's you who should be working to change that.

You nor anyone else cannot possibly think after you've insulted majority of the people of this forum that we would remain positive to your insults, and ignore them or act like we so called don't care. No it's sends a message that others can also come here and do this. Just because other people find these kinds of attacks by you entertaining doesn't mean that we should just go cheering it on as if the person you've targeted doesn't have feelings on the other side. I'm sure as heck not going to accept that's the way you are, it's a bunch of bull crap. That's the way you want to be.

Frankily i never said that you didn't want forum moderation, I think it's a great idea, because it means for once posters can post in peace. Lol and like i said you've been banned before but a temporary ban surely isn't going to stop you from insulting people. Like i said no remorse or empathy what so ever.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 04/12/12 01:22 PM


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MrHawk


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Anavastia my respect for you is again raised with this post.

Honestly, I don't know anything about you but I do recall when you made a post discussing breaking the game into micro-releases or micro-transactions or some such thing and it must have turned ugly because the ugliness bled out into another forum with a post aimed at targeting you.

This was quite some time ago. Yet still I see it hasn't got you down.

Respect. Empathy is a wonderful thing.

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christine400


Joined: 12/19/09 05:32 PM
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MrHawk wrote:
christine400 wrote:
MrHawk wrote:Unless she's a technical writer for adolescent and childhood behavioural science I seriously doubt Anavastia wrote it.

I agree with her post and the comparison. It's pretty astute. Anybody who's had experience with these things knows the signs when they're there.



hmmm if you read the fine print i said made/searched so no where in my post did i flat out say she wrote

i'd apreciate it if you didnt throw words in my mouth mmk ?

good day sir


I wasn't having a go at you, Christine400.
Perhaps I shouldn't have left the lol in but it definitely wasn't a go at you at all.



didn't say you were. you threw words in my mouth and i didnt appreciate it plain and simple.


Christine<3
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