Joined: 08/11/09 06:20 PM
Location:♪This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me♫
'Ello there, looks like you've stumbled across my thread!
I'm writing a new legacy titled Factual Opinions. It's based off of the challenge I created, Life As We See It, and I'll be writing it on a blog! ^-^
For now, here's our founder, Amani Vista. I hope you guys will give my story a shot! I love feedback and even just chatting with you guys!
Comments/Feedback/Suggestions: (Yay! First to review ) The storyline could use a tad bit more work, Drew. What I'd do to improve is try doing a little more research on real life consequences to give the storyline a 'real' effect. The photos at times were a bit blurry, but not to the point where I couldn't actually SEE the pictures. Your spelling and grammar skills could be a touch better, but I think most of those were just typos... The character's are all so gorgous and look realistic, and I love how most seem to have a back story!
Storyline: 23/25 - Personally, I think you could get a little more 'drama' in, but, since this is the first generation, I understand that you don't want to use all of your creativity.
Photography: 25/25 - The pictures are great.
Spelling: 14/15 - I didn't check, but I bet that there are some typos/errors. Just try to avoid them.
Grammar: 14/15 - See ^
Characters: 20/20 - I love your characters.
Comments/Feedback/Suggestions: Yeah. I'm not very good at this. Anyway, please remember that up there ^, I mostly used negative 'feedback'. So I'll dedicate this space to the great things in your story. It makes me happier when I'm a little down/sad, because I like your writing. So, overall, please continue. I love Factual Opinions, even if I don't comment often. I'm just rubbish at commenting, even though I know how nice it is to get a positive comment and how frustrating to get none. Sorry about that.
And I'm not really good at giving a critique that helps you.
Storyline: 24/25 - Pretty good for starting out. I would like if the plots were longer and had more detail ( I hope you get what I mean) but pretty good.
Photography: 20/25 - Alright. They're just photos, so I don't know ho to grade this.
Spelling: 14/15- Typos
Grammar: 13/15- Typos
Characters: 10/20- The founder is the only one with a real personality. (Sorry for the harsh grade. )
Storyline: 22/25 - For the most part you manage to keep the story very interesting, surprising, suspenseful and actually manage to include something that has me wanting more. I can also feel great emotion and bond with the characters!
Photography: 23/25 - You're very good at taking pics. Angles are great, skills are excellent!
Spelling: 13/15 - Like the others said, not really paying attention to that...
Grammar: 14/15 - Same as Spelling///
Characters: 15/20 - I don't feel as though I truly know all the characters to their fullest. I can only see them through Amani's eyes...it's still great and I like your perspective of telling it, but I'd love to know them better!
Storyline: 22/25 - I think for the most part the storyline is grat. I can't really find anything wrong with it. It's a great storyline for a legacy.
Photgraphy: 24/25 - Your pictures are sooo much better than mine. I just figured out how to make mine look better a couple of days ago in options, I feel stupid for not knowing I could change how it looks for about three years.
Spelling: 14/15 - Sure, there may be a few errors every now and then, but no ones perfect. I have terrible spelling and grammar when I'm typing, so you do a good job in my opinion.
Grammar: 14/15 - Same as above.
Characters: 20/20 - I LOVE all the characters. There is not one thing wrong with them (well, except Brock, but he's supposed to be bad ). There all so good looking and have great personalities that make them unique.
The only thing I suggest is that the chapters to be a little longer. But that's it.
Storyline: 22/25 - It's good and almost always has me hooked and desperate for the next chapter. A little bit more drama would be good though
Photography: 23/25 - So. Photos. I dunno how to score photos really, but like cuddles said, no one is perfect so I sorta took off a few random marks
Spelling: 14/15 - Typos. I've only ever seen like, two though.
Grammar: 14/15 - Same as ^
Characters: 13/20 - I feel like I only really know Amani and (knew) Brock a little bit. They're all gawgeous but I wanna know more about their personalities.
Total (uh....gonna go find meh calculator ): 86/100
Comments/Feedback/Suggestions: Yeah, my comments weren't exactly brief so I said pretty much everything above. But I kinda forgot to say that it's an amazing story and I love it and seriously, don't you dare ever stop, cos this is pretty much the only story that makes me smile when I'm down <3
Storyline: 22/25 - It is clear you plan your stories well. It is the type of stories that will keep your viewers interessted. Just keep your viewers wondering... sometimes it is predictable.
Photography: 24/25 - Great angle! Just an accident here or there.
Spelling: 14/15 Almost flawless... keep a dictionary near!
Grammar: 14/15 See above
Characters: 18/20 Viewers get clinged on characters easily. A few of the guys's personalities is just too common.
Comments/Feedback/Suggestions: One of the best stories on the website! I love everything! Just an accident here or there could ruin a story easiy. Make sure your photos are clean and fits with the atmosphere. Well done
Courtesy of FyireChilde~
This message was edited 44 times. Last update was at 03/26/12 09:03 PM